Fibromyalgia: Do you think that Fibro Patients are imagined to live without pain?
I would think that would qualify as an oxymoron, calling Fibromyalgia a “comfort zone”! Since I noticed the first pains, it seems as though I haven’t been comfortable again.
I know you mean more on a mental/emotional level, however. I would still be inclined to think not. From what I’ve read, the people I’ve talked to a majority of people with Fibromyalgia were “type A” personalities. Meaning, they were movers, shakers, doers, overachievers, survivalists– we were always moving, cleaning, hustling, being as efficient with time, so to do as much as possible, with the least amount of time.
Plus, we did it right, we did it without asking for help, and we did it for everyone but ourselves. I’ve said, although I’m stuck with FM now, I can still say I lived one heck of life before. And, even since.
So, when FM hit us, it not only took away our ability to move, it took away who we were at our core. The way we always functioned was yanked away, and after all the Dr’s, tests, and fear before our diagnoses were gone, we were left with that same energy running laps in our brains. Some of us were predisposed to mental illness, some not, perhaps. But, I know a lot of people get depressed. Who wouldn’t? Fibromyalgia is a beast of mythical power.
It attacks you at your senses-sight, smell, sound, touch, taste, temperature- everything is affected. Sound tones (dog barking), feel like knitting needles to your ears. Sunlight is blinding, phone lights give me headaches. And, smells! I get nauseous walking to the store from car exhaust, cigarette smoke on people walking by, detergents used by the store, (not to mention the detergent aisle-my eyes water & burn &my lungs close), 20 different people with 20 different smells from cologne, perfume, lotion, bath soap, everything.
It’s unpleasant, at best. Worst case, I get headaches, nausea, I “taste” the smells, I get dizzy. It’s not great. I break out into a sweat several times a day, for no apparent reason. Some people are constantly cold, like my icy feet & hands. I constantly have every symptom of a bad kidney infection, which is a gift from FM called Interstitial Cystitis.
FM is different for everyone, except in that it’s typically different for each of us every day. I often say it would be easier to draw what my body feels like. My skin would be lumpy with huge knots, black and blue, and on fire from the waist up. My eyes, nose, ears & throat would have fire coming from them, as well. My bones would all be broken to some degree.
The worst would be my pelvic/hip/tail bone, and my feet would be mutilated, full of broken glass, and look like ice. My hands would also be swollen, black and blue, full of broken bones and glass, with rubber bands wrapped tightly around them. Sharp blades that cut into my wrists, would go down the insides of my wrist, into the bend of my elbows.
I would have various bugs biting me, making me itchy, and I would have stickers poking my skin. There would be people around me, stabbing me with knives, randomly. I would have twisted metal for my neck/upper spine. Thick, strong cables would be my tendons, and invisible powers will pull them in the wrong directions, at inopportune times, making it easy for a knee/hip/arm to “give out”. A sick marionette doll, of sorts.
I definitely don’t count nausea as comforting, either. Unable to take meds because of stomach pains/nausea, or getting nauseous from said medications. Feeling your head swim when you’re trying to figure out what to do, or say, because of fibro fog.
The headaches, body aches, pain all the time take a toll on your mind, body & spirit. Your friends don’t understand or want to hear about it. Your family doesn’t believe you, and why would they? DOCTORS don’t believe you, half the time!
So, you question your own sanity. You become depressed, isolated, withdrawn. You stop getting invitations because they assume you’ll say no, again. You lose respect from & for others, because you have nothing but time on your hands, and Fibromyalgia WILL be in your thoughts- like it or not. You simply cannot live a “normal life“.
In my case, I can’t stick to a schedule if my life depended on it. I’ve had FMS for fifteen years, and I get disability, subsidized housing, free rides to dr appointments, and in-home services-someone who comes to help me with cooking, cleaning, etc. I don’t HAVE to do anything, except collect my services, and be “COMFORTABLE”. Yet, I’m constantly trying to do BETTER.
I’m a double Psych major at the local college, and it will take me longer than most, to finish with my degrees. I’ve gone to Heald college twice for a Business degree. Each time, I have to “fix” my financial aid mess caused from the last time my health stopped me from completing school.
Each time, I’m older, my abilities are less, and my confidence wavers, when my cognitive abilities are slower, and I’m scared to death I’ll fail. So, why bother, if Fibromyalgia can be a “comfort zone“? Why try to be anything more than who I am TODAY?
Because I AM NOT FIBROMYALGIA! I HAVE Fibromyalgia! But, I REFUSE to stop moving, stop trying, stop living. Even if I can only move, try 1 day of the week, I’ll take it. And, I won’t feel bad the other 6 days, because ignorant, (read: uneducated, have never felt how I feel, so can’t possibly fathom what it’s like), people often think I’m lazy, I’m lying, I’m scamming the system, or I’m simply comfortable with this horrible condition with which I’ve been afflicted.
I hope this answers your question. I’m hoping you can answer one for me? Most people don’t know about Fibromyalgia, much less what it does to someone. What would drive you to ask this question, and in the way you asked? With FMS being a pain condition, why would you suggest anyone could/would find any comfort in having Fibro? What is your experience, if any, with Fibromyalgia?
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