Flare is such a fitting name, as it seems to begin little and gets out of nowhere but grows shockingly and is omnivorous. For me, it begins with one or two poor nights ‘ sleep.
In many respects it consumes me. To wake up tired of sleeping during the night or being up for much of it. Something so apparently tiny that others could cure with a glass of wine the following day and go to bed soon.
I fight it, I know that it might be a flare. Earlier, I go to sleep. I take additional melatonin. I take additional melatonin. Maybe Benadryl is something like knocking me out.
I wake up one day and I understand that it is. That’s it. I am sweet. I’m sweet. It’s like moving across water and it’s a fight overall. The day before, I felt an increasing ache in areas of my body. It’s in my left shoulder today and it’s crawling to the elbow. It comes up into my back and it’s in my correct arm. It’s in my lower left back and it’s going into my hip. It has both legs. It’s both. My whole body feels alert and willing to make fun of my day’s decisions.
I roll out of bed and say that I must move. I must move. Go right now.
I’m a little slower than most to wake up, so I’ve taken up about 20 minutes of “wake up” time to my morning routine that includes drinking a smoothie protein while watching the news channel 5. This usually feels like time, but today it’s going around, and I don’t know what it was going to be.
I get prepared and three times to verify that I did the stuff I have to do, and I have all I need to do. Have my medicines been taking? Check out. Check. Inhalation?
The drive is difficult, and I am more self-pilot than normal. I play loud music to warn me and I do my utmost to be a driver who is deliberately involved. There’s some of my brain which is whispers and pulls in the back seat of a side street.
Many of them know about the fibromyalgia, but sometimes it doesn’t worth the “I’m more than tired” debate. I’ll go back and joke on “Wednesdays” with a few of them. I’m looking at my timetable for the day and I’ll offer myself a bowl to go to where I must go. I’m very grateful for a few fine working buddies who are chatty, who are nice to me. I thank the heavens for our marvelous HR department, so I could move up and down all day. It contributes to alleviating pain and honestly, the up and down action keeps me alerted.
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It’s great to leave job but my body collapses. I do it home, but I’ve got a second floor and since I left the stairs seem to be steeper. Well I am fair, there is an elevator, but it is on the reverse side of the building, so I’ll have 10 stairs to choose from, or walk up the other side of the building. I look up, up and up one step at a moment with amazement and force myself. How much it hurts is disturbing.
I instantly switch to comfortable clothing but leave a string of 4 phrases as I sweat my legs. My legs are not willing this evening to keep up with my instructions.
Meals can be planned, and I finally eat a potato and an egg tossed. Well, it’s kind of baby, since the baby hurts, but at least it is cooked. Honestly, I had ice cream or straight tuna dinners when I flared, and at least it feels like a full dinner.
I look around the half-crowded wine bottle and see the advantages and disadvantages of a glass, but I just decide to crash on the sofa as lifting the bottle looks like climbing a flight of steps. I turn the Olympics on and marvel about people who break the records of the globe.
I cannot prepare food, and without the will to even rinse it off and put it in the dishwasher, I let it run on a little water and then leave it in a sink.
I’m getting prepared for bed, I begin to get prepared. I’m taking my different medicines. Brush my teeth, but my electric toothbrush doesn’t tell me that I must do it almost in the complete moment. Turn on the heating pad and switch off the lamps. Since keeping my Kindle hurt my arms, I leave my evening reading ritual and attempt some methods for breathing.
All light in my bedroom is blocked except for the small blue light on the air purifier that comes from the buttons. I’m facing my phone. But I’m awake because someone understands the length of the day and I hear my neighbor’s drawbar slopping and hard walking. My lower back wears and goes into my correct leg. My arms are hurt and nearly both elbows are radiating. I can’t discover a cozy place and my mind turns around. I’m going to probably feel worse tomorrow, I understand.
I attempt to concentrate on my breath, recalling my Buddhism college meditation methods.
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