12 ‘ Harmless ‘ comments that people with fibromyalgia actually hurt

By: Dr Alexa James

Fibromyalgia has changed me in many different ways, most often, I don’t feel like my own age and some people think that I either don’t look like my own age, but what a fakes smile or some make-up can do surprises me, that can make you seem like an ordinary, happy and healthy person, but it’s not the way I feel.

Fibromyalgia is an ill-understood disease. Missing understanding and support almost everybody here face a major problem. You hear such harmless comments, which have actually shattered the heart and drive your spirits down, when you are living with fibro or another chronic illness.

“Hurtful remarks are not always obvious. We asked a question. What’s “unharmful” about the fibromyalgia that somebody told you? “to our Facebook group” why fibromyalgia “and asked them to share their sentiments and experiences regarding this question with us. You shared your feeling with us, and we compiled a list of your comments below.

Most of us have heard all of it lose weight because of its weight, and you will be all right. People don’t trust them and say that they lie and apologize for their work. All in your head. Everything in your head. You have never had chemo or radiation, so you can’t count what you’ve had cancer (the FYI is). Are you just silly or psychologically? You should be in a hospital if you have so many mental illnesses. Why do you not eat and exercise if this fat is yours. Your only 26, how are you that sick? (I have multiple diseases that prevent me from doing it.) You’re faking because you want to be careful? And many more. So much more.

You definitely heard these at some point. It is not clear to people that this ridiculous situation is just as frustrating for the ones of us. Just one morning, what I would not be giving to wake up, only one morning, and not pain.

Here is what the community share with us:

1^st is You’re Always Sick

• ALWAYS you’re sick!
• Just get up and begin to move around. You will feel better!
• You’ve always got a headache
• Don’t you hurt anything?

2^nd is You are Not trying hard

• Stop using it as an excuse. You need to push yourself, the more you exert the easier it will get
• I know exactly how you feel but really have a job.
• All you have to do is practice more.
• People suggest I move more, go to other places to get my MS, etc.

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3^rd is to Lose some weight

• If you’d lost the weight you placed on you don’t like this, my husband tells me. Your body doesn’t use it all to carry. He never sympathizes with my sorrow. I had him read the other day, finally, about fibro. His answer, doctors say it isn’t real in your head. It’s not true. And I cry with pain. I cry with pain.
• I am depressed with comments regarding my weight gain (which comes from medicines). Normally I can’t work, and even no longer recognize myself. Thanks for pointing out the apparent!
• Essentially, I am told that I don’t have fibromyalgia that same family member recently told me to “save” me. It wasn’t my weight.

4^th is It’s a Mental Thing

• This is a mind. You’re not hurting your body, it’s just your brain lying to you.
• You won’t get any more in pain if it’s sorted out, and this was said by my own.
• You thought you were looking for a mental physician.
• It’s in the head.
• I was said to be a hypochondria to care for my health and if I could take part in the summers.

5^th is Doesn’t everyone feel tired?

• “I’ve also been hurt. My 59yr-old dad’s suck it up.
• The sooner you can solve anything your problem is, the better, my rheumatologist said that. I’m 24
• people are more conditioned than you and they get up to work. We all got aches and pains, because we’re old.

6^th is Do Exercise

• I’ve got RA and Fibro. I’ve got RA. There are people who suggest I go out and walk like I’m going to… 2 miles per day, 6 days a week for 20-2 years. Because of RA, I need new knees and a back surgery… I can only begin walking again.
• Train more, get into normal sleep

7^th is “You’re so young! “

• You are younger than that! No,
• you’re going to grow out of it. Out of it I’m not going to grow. But thank you.
• You’re young enough to be in this great pain–from the numerous physicians
• You’re always in pains. If it bothers you so much, why do you not give up work?

8^th is It’s not that bad

• It’s not so bad you’re supposed to try working so many hours a day. All I could say to them was that I wasn’t able to stay on my feet for three hours without my pain being so bad that I was barely able to walk to take a break when time came.
• The only thing in pain you’re not. Oh, I’m on handicap. Recall?
• We all get up and deal with pain. “Everybody has pain.
• Get over it I’m paining constantly and I go to work still you need to be stronger and put the pain at the back of your mind! You are being lazy
• Everyone has aches and pains”

9^th is You’re Lying.

• “These people are mankind’s garbage, trying to steal money of people who work.”
• I told my sister that an interview was going poorly because of my fibroid fog.
• “While they are not working, I can tell you how to walk, so you’re lying.” She told me she didn’t think “this is one thing,”

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10^th is “At least it’s not cancer”

• Not cancer, at least,
• Comparing people to another disease, essentially if you’re not dying, it disregards the fact that a chronic syndrome without treatment does not affect your entire life.
• I had someone tell me the other day that my fibromyalgia showed that I couldn’t have bad omg. I told that she needed her ignorant self to educate that woman.
• I have that from my ex-wife, it’s not the worst then cancer!
• “Is not autism alone?

11^th is Who told you?

• My last appointment as a doctor, my doctor told me who you told me that you were fibromyalgia? would he stab me in my heart so well?? Certain docs just don’t think until they open their mouths…. Set me really back
• I was treated just like I was insane. Some don’t believe Fibro to be real. I had it a couple of times. Hope you never have a right condition for pain

12^th is Eye Roll -Making us feel Guilty

• My6-year-old daughter told me that she couldn’t play her friend because she had to look after her sick mom.
• My 12-year-old daughter asking if we could go any place, and first of all I would like you to be better so that we can do more things” “DONT WORRY MOM THERE ARE LOTS OF PLACES TO SIT……
• “You have to be gladder”
• “I don’t have anything to say about it, but I’ve got plenty of eye-rolls, sounds like” we go here again ”
• I’m guilty of being ill.
• Get your pain under control anyway, “my brother after having missed another family,”
• The worst thing ex told me I was just a burden for him.
• He’ll get your pain under control somehow. He never wanted to take care of me. When I spent years looking after him, I took him to surgical doctors and knew what he should do. But the cake was taken. For him, I’ve been a burden.
• They’re not making that pill?

I think those comments follow almost everybody with a “hidden” disease, some of whom also have no hidden disease. In your comments, tell us if you heard one or two of them … tell your friends and family to let them know that they’re hurting us.

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