By: Dr Alex Robber
To the guy who remained when I told him to leave in my life. And for 18 years of marriage we have been together today. I don’t really understand how it occurred. It feels sometimes that we are the same as 25 years old. Sometimes it feels like we’re like a unifying team. But now we have stood before family and friends over these 18 years and made a vow to love and appreciate “in good and bad times in sick and health.” I have a sensation that these words have caused disease rather than health for the previous 20 years.
I’m not the individual I’d ever think I’d get my lucky. This may be intended for others or for fairytales novels etc. I remember all of the things that came into my life as you saw the beauty behind my shortcomings. It’s so incredible if you believe that someone has hurt you so badly. Some doubts that have allowed you to wake up all night long, some thoughts and then weird symptoms.
First of all, my body was being hit (it was the first of many medics every day) with a thyroiditis of Hashimoto that should be a medication for a whole lifetime. Joint inflammation, hair loss, fever, exhaustion, stress and continuous diseases have been added. I felt like a senior in my twenties. In front of you, you always get them, and I used to conceal problems. When I wasn’t right, you canceled all plans and you’d say, “We’re going to remain at your place and watch a film.” Like a hell, everyone disappeared.
Time passed and, in the mornings, a doctor’s appointment was held to address the new symptoms and 911 was finally called for a hospital. I didn’t work my limbs. The fresh word “cns lupus” was first spelled out by anyone. Everything went so bad. My future became risky because my brain wasn’t in command and my brain was being attacked.
I still remember the moment when I was on the machines everything was frightening, the beeps, the sounds, the smells. All I wanted was to free you and give you a life of liberty. It’s not a life you deserve to be a caregiver. There were only 24 of you and your future was lightened. You didn’t have to live with someone whose future is in jeopardy. At that moment, we were only involved.
I didn’t count the power of your love, you refused to leave me. You informed me that afterwards you always stayed with me. You’ve taken me to the bath and washed my hair softly. And all of you did was.
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It is very difficult to be with a chronically ill person. You’ve cooked for me for days, my nurse, father, mother, psychiatrist. You’re like a rubber stick holding the family together. You picked me up whenever I felt. You have brought me to the real land. When I act like a stubborn woman, you always set me right.
You assisted me and took me to bed in the evenings. There were too many evenings when you missed the ancient one alone, since we were in bed at 9:00 p.m. When you didn’t sleep due to me, there were evenings just to make sure I’m OK. Every time you missed every event for me, there were moments when you remained there with me, because I was in the hospital. You have endorsed and advocated our children.
I’m not the one that can live with the simplest. Yeah, I’ve confessed. I’m a hard man, and at the same moment stubborn. Because of steroids, I get angry. You always look to me with love and my weight fluctuates. I’ve always felt an unnecessary individual with these medicines, but always say how worthwhile I am. Where’s the future going to take us, I don’t understand. All I understand is that, in this mad adventure, you are with me. And I’m grateful for you for not hearing and not running to me.
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